Have you ever failed at something? Sure, we all have, but when you failed, did you learn from it? Some people look at their mistakes as just that: mistakes. They don’t see it as an opportunity to make good on it the next time it comes around again. I will be the first to admit that I have made my fair share of mistakes. Did I learn from them? Yes, but I always wondered: Are there benefits to failing?
Think about this: what have you tried over and over only to fail? Did you give up or did you try again? We all have goals or dreams to do something, but how many of us try, fail and get back up?
Do you have friends or loved ones that are always so pessimistic about everything? They try, fail and play the violin (rolling my eyes) about how life has treated them. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand people like that. Life is not perfect. You will fail more than you succeed and life will try your patience ten times over.
You miss 100% of the shots you do not take. Failing is a step on the ladder to success.
Question: What advice can you offer new bloggers that want to give up?
What we do does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
Think about this: what have you tried over and over only to fail? Did you give up or did you try again? We all have goals or dreams to do something, but how many of us try, fail and get back up?
Do you have friends or loved ones that are always so pessimistic about everything? They try, fail and play the violin (rolling my eyes) about how life has treated them. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand people like that. Life is not perfect. You will fail more than you succeed and life will try your patience ten times over.
How do you get through it when life throws you curve balls?
Learn with Each Step
Learning something new is scary. If you start a new job and have to learn a new software program you never used before, it will be difficult. Over time, after making a few errors here and there, you learn fast what steps to take and shorten the learning curve with each failure. You make mental notes to yourself to avoid timely mistakes again. “Once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget”.Previous Experience
No one wants to make mistakes, but people want to find answers so they do not repeat the same mistakes. Think about the products we buy and pay for to seek advice. How many seminars and books do we attend to help us learn from people who have experienced those same mistakes? That type of experience we learn from others help us make better choices to meet our goals. “Don’t doubt what you already know; your experience is a wealth of priceless information”.Problem Solver
When we make mistakes, we learn how to ask the right questions and become better problem solvers. If you fail at something the next time around, you learn to see situations in a different perspective than others. You learn how to think outside the box and come up with unique ideas you didn’t notice before. The more you problem solve the better you become at it.More Attentive
When we fail, we tend to see opportunities that others might miss. You have a keen eye for attention to detail and focus on what’s most important. This leads us to seek advice and ask questions with a willingness to learn.You Learn to Adapt
Problems or mistakes force you to adapt to your situation very fast. Think about the last time you tried something you did not think you could do. The benefit of failing forces you to try things outside your comfort zone. “You won’t succeed if you don’t try”.Individual Growth
When we try new things, we gain a greater tolerance. Things that use to bother will not affect us as much because we have already experienced that pain or loss of failure. This helps us avoid spending time worrying about things we can’t change and focus on things we can change.You Think you’re All That
It is hard for people to let others lead. Some of us feel that need to stay in control when we can let others lead and delegate. Our ego will do nothing more than create a temporary illusion of satisfaction. If you think you can’t succeed without the help of others along the way, you’re in trouble. Check your ego at the door.Leave Yourself Open
Think about all the blog posts we absorb. How many blog posts, seminars and trade shows have you attended with the hopes of learning something new? Solve a problem? Help you grow your business? When we leave ourselves open, you learn how to filter information for value.Giving Back
I love helping others. It gives me satisfaction knowing that I could help someone who was in the same place I was starting out. When we help others, we already know and understand the problems they face. We can offer advice and mentor those willing to take advice to avoid costly mistakes later on.Persistence
Martin Luther King and Steve Jobs is an excellent example of persistence. No matter how many times they failed or missed the mark, they got back up and tried again. How many times have we failed at something and got back up? Every time you get back up, you strive to get things done.You miss 100% of the shots you do not take. Failing is a step on the ladder to success.
Question: What advice can you offer new bloggers that want to give up?
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Pauline
Hi Sonia
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We all fail at something in our lives, either in our personal or business life and there is no shame in it, I always think it makes us stronger and more determined to succeed, I know it does me!
As for your question, I say to new bloggers who want to give up to take a step back, look at the way they are doing things, re-focus and ask for help. There are so many people out there only too willing to help anyone just starting out, we were all there at one point, I know it is hard when you are not achieving what you expected but you cannot give up.
I had a lot of help and support after making some great connections with other bloggers.
Thanks for sharing, have a great week.
Pauline
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Sonia
Hi Pauline! Great comment and you bring up some valuable points of interest. Some people just feel better playing the woos-is-me act and then wonder why they never succeed at anything. I use to do that when I was younger and realized quick it was the fastest way to disaster. Don’t get me wrong I make my fair share of mistakes, but I try and learn from it too. I remember starting out how “green” I was and still is on certain subjects. I think we are always in learning mode and I feel lucky to have a wealth of online friends to help me along the way. That’s what it is all about. Thank you Pauline for your awesome comment and feedback.
Twitter: LogAllot
Brenda
Oh Sonia! This is fabulous! Do you know how many blogs I’ve had, deleted em, and started over? I didn’t give up because I was determined to do it. Now there are some others things in my past that I might have just given up, but only because I truly wasn’t passionate about whatever I was trying to do. When I set my mind to something and am truly passionate about it, I’ll give it everything I have.
Fabulous post!
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Sonia
Hey Brenda, I know the feeling. I started 3 at one time and thought I was losing my mind. I have 2 now, but at least one is to make me some money. When I let those other blogs go, I had no passion for it and started many of them for the wrong reasons. They were more work than fun and I bounced from that real quick. Now, I can honestly say, I am truly happy. BTW, I love your new site. The colors and sassy look is perfect. How is titan doing?
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Bren
I’m glad you enjoy what you’re doing now. Makes all the difference, doesn’t it?
Thanks for the comps. MGP is going to be my fun, snarky, quirky blog. Just had to have another outlet.
Titan is ok, busted his nail bad last week, we have a follow up tomorrow night to figure out what their going to do about it. :/ It’s always something.
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Sonia
Oh no, I hope he is ok. Anytime I have to take my pup intot he vet I am in tears even for the slightest thing. My man things I silly, but she is my baby and I love her so much. Let me know how Titan recovers.
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Adrienne
Girl, I like to say that I fail forward. I use to beat myself up all the time thinking I was a failure but really all that is is when you give up on something.
Now some things are worth giving up on but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re a failure. I use to hate when I would start a new job because I wanted to know everything right that moment. That’s not going to happen and although you’re very good at what you do you have to learn how that company wants things done, who are their contacts, how their programs work, etc. It can take months for that so you’re bound to make mistakes.
Failing is a part of learning so I hope that I continue to fail because we’re always learning new things all the time.
~Adrienne
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Sonia
Hi Adrienne! When I wrote this, I remembered some of the posts you wrote about your beginnings and it reminded me of mine. How I thought I was suppose to do this and that only to fail. Then I would get back up and try again with something new only to get that wrong and fail again. Then I started seeking out answers to questions I tried to answer myself, knowing I had no clue what to do. Then everything changed and now I am able to see the fruits of my labor and know all I can do now is continue to grow. Let’s you and Lisa Buben inspired much of this post and helped me along the way to get where I am today. Thank you my friend for everything.
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Donna Merrill
Hi Sonia!
Great advice you have given here. We all fail at one time or another. We have a choice. We can either walk away and use that failure as an “excuse” or we can step back and do it a different way.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think when I do something that doesn’t work out, it is failure. Instead, I believe that it is a lesson that has to be learned. Yes, I can wallow for an hour or two but that’s it!
Then I step back and try to figure out how to do it differently. Yes, my ego is left at the door. How else am I supposed to grow?
When set backs happen I think of the old song by Frank Sinatra where he says “I’ll just pick myself up and get back in the race..”
-Donna
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Sonia
I love that song too Donna! Huge Sinatra fan and when I hear him sing that it gets me going too. I use to look at failure as a bad thing and things changed for me when I started blogging. I wasn’t sure how long I would be doing this and there are some days where I think, “wow, I am still here”, but that is what keeps me going. When I saw your picture, I immediately thought about what you went through when the east coast got slammed with storms last year. Still, you came back strong and didn’t give up. That’s persistence, girl. Glad to see you came out of that.
Twitter: LogAllot
Sylviane Nuccio
Hi Sonia,
I think we learn a lot from our mistakes. I know I have. It’s because of mistakes that I’ve made in the past that I can avoid making them ever again.
We all wish we’d live a smooth life where everything always fall into place, but we know it’s not really going to happen, so we make mistakes, but in the end we learn from them.
Complaining too much about past mistakes is not a good idea, because it puts us into bad vibrations ready to attract more of the negative. So, just take it, and learn from it
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Sonia
Hi Sylviane…great advice. I know some people that do nothing but complain. Maybe they don’t see it like that and just figure they are just talking, but what they don’t realize is that their negative talk has a profound affect on their psyche in the long run. I use to do it myself and glad I stopped that crap. How are things with you anyway?
Twitter: LogAllot
Lisa
HI Sonia, I learn best by failure and it sure isn’t a fun way to learn. That’s what got me started blogging on Inspire. To help others learn from my mistakes along the way online. And yes, they do still happen. No one is every born perfect though it may seem it when we hear about how successful some people are. We only hear the successes not the failures in most cases. I love reading about those that tried many times before they succeeded. I think of Donald Trump who went bankrupt, I can’t imagine him now bankrupt. Or Thomas Edison with the light bulb, how many times did it take him to get it right?
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I would tell new bloggers not to quit the first year. I’ve seen many come and go going into my almost my 3rd year blogging. They must have patience and some determination. Glad to see you back Sonia
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Sonia
Hi Lisa, thanks, good to be back. Once I got settled in and got my affairs in order, it freed up time again to get my content back in order. I remember when Donald Trump lost his mojo and got it back promptly and never gave up. It shows the winners from the losers. Not to say that in a bad way, but we are all winners when we keep at it and never give up. I saw an interview last night with Jerry Rice (49ers) and he said, “failure” was not an option for him and he had to keep going no matter what. He pushed his self beyond what other athletes were doing at that time for his sport and he did what he had to do. That’s persistence. Thanks Lisa for your comment. How are things with you?
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Paul
Hi Sonia.
Thanks for sharing.
Edison once said, “I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.”
Failure is healthy if you can learn from it.
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Sonia
Hi Paul, right you are, but I wanted people to see it as an opportunity to look back and see where they started and where they are now. Sometimes we forget or miss the small accomplishments we have each and every day. I loved the quote you mentioned and I appreciate the visit. I love your blog. Great stuff. Will make sure to visit and share your content.
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Jack Durish
I used to teach computer technology classes, everything from running desktop applications to programming and network architecture, between assignments as a network applications architect. Please don’t go. That’s the last of the techno-babble. It amused me that every time a student made an error, especially one that elicited an audible alarm from their computer, they would look left and right to see if anyone else noticed. It reminded me of someone farting in a crowded room. Whereas children didn’t react so openly to making a mistake (after all, they’re just kids and make lots of mistakes), adults didn’t like to be caught at it.
My advice to them was always the same. Look at your mistakes as opportunities to learn something new. Think about it. Had they followed my instructions exactly and everything worked, were they actually learning? Maybe not. But, when they had to go back and figure out what they had done wrong and fix it, there was no question about it – they were learning.
If they failed to grasp this simple concept, I advised them to simply look at the person next to them and scowl as though it was their computer that had beeped. The other person, of course, would protest that it wasn’t them. Everyone else would say, “Sure”, and nod knowingly.
Twitter: jackdrsm
Sonia
Hi Jack, I loved that and I can remember instances just like that too. Funny as it sounds, we adults hate to make mistakes. I think when it actually happens, we tend to have a feeling of, “Oh great here we go again”, and that can be troubling if you dwell on it too long. I had a former boss that use to micro-manage the crap out of his team to the point, where they made mistakes because they were expected too. Sounds weird, but they told me he made them nervous and they didn’t feel confident enough, ultimately making more mistakes. Once a mistake was made, they quickly figured out how to do it right the next time, thus having more confident the next time it came around again. I for one, can’t stand managers like that, but for some odd reason it worked in that job function. Myself on the other hand, I know what my capabilities are and my limitations. My limitations is what I work on the hardest so get it right the first time, knowing that mistakes might happen. But I keep pressing on nonetheless and never give up. Thanks Jack for your awesome comment and insight.
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Stacy
Hi Sonia,
Failure is all about learning. I love the story about how Edison “failed” over 1000 times when trying to invent the light bulb. He’s said to have told others: I didn’t fail, I succeeded in finding another way that doesn’t work. I’m closer to finding what does work!
I love that attitude!
Stacy
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Sonia
Hi Stacy, another comment said the same thing (sort of), but I love that saying too. The more we fail, the more we strive to get it right. Some give up, while others get back up and and again no matter what. Thanks Stacy for stopping by. How is the book going?
Twitter: LogAllot
Brian Hawkins
Hi Sonia, It looks like you need a guy’s perspective here.
I enjoyed your post. It’s nice to see how the people that fail think; I’ve never failed. lol {joking}. I think it’s important to be able to laugh at ourselves. I just try not to fail before I’ve had my tea in the morning because I know it’s coming before the end of the day. 
Our weekly Hangout videos has taught me a lot about myself. They are live with no chance of edits so there’s always mistakes. The only thing we can do is have a good laugh about it and try to do better the next time. We’ll often stay in the hangout after the broadcast and talk about what we can do to make things better next week. We get along very well so no one is attacking each other from a mistake made and I’m proud of my partners for that. It’s a work in progress and that’s the same with everything we do in life. None of us are perfect and we can’t expect perfection; not from ourselves or others.
What advice can you offer new bloggers that want to give up?
I believe the worst advice anyone can give is to put a mistake behind us. (Oh no, I hope no one said that in the comments. lol I didn’t see anyone say that so if I missed it, I apologize). We need to look at our mistakes and evaluate what we can do next time to improve without obsessing over it. It’s a fine line between beating ourselves up about something and taking an honest look at it for improvement but it’s important.
“The only way to fail is to give up for the wrong reasons” <– Soon to be famous quote by Brian D. Hawkins!
Okay, I think I looked pretty smart with this comment so I'll shut up before I ruin it. lol
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Sonia
Hi Brian, I love this! Tell it B!! I have made tons of mistakes and I look back on them quite often to make sure I don’t repeat them, but I also look at why I chose that and how to choose differently next time. I think in general people see failure as a scary thing and in some situations it might be, but it is your actions afterwards that really count. I saw a interview with Jerry Rice the other day and his workout ethic was crazy to most, but to him it made sense if he was going to be the best. Did he make mistakes? I am sure he did, but at least he can admit it. For some failure is not an option, but I wonder, is that realistic? Maybe, maybe not, but I admire anyone that can look beyond failure as mistake, but as an opportunity for greatness later on. B, thanks for your comment, that was awesome. A little flavor from B!
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TerriAnn
I’m sure that’s why the ‘phrase live and learn’ makes so much sense. It’s also beneficial to learn from the failures of others so you don’t have to first experience them yourself.
Twitter: cookiesANDclogs
Sonia
Hi Terri Ann….agreed. I also like that we can help others avoid those pitfalls that we made along the way. That information is so priceless and I am grateful, most people share it. How are you?
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Carol Lynn
Hey Sonia, good to see you! How’s the new biz going? I’m sure it’s keeping you busy!
I love what you shared here. Nobody likes to fail. That’s why sometimes we don’t even try, sadly enough. But it’s a valuable experience. If we don’t fail, we don’t truly understand what it means to succeed and we certainly can’t appreciate it the same way. If we don’t fail, we don’t learn. Also people who don’t fail (or say they don’t!) are totally boring anyway and who wants to hear all that positive crap all the time
I think what I would tell someone who wants to quit is that there is nothing wrong with failing. If you quit, what are you going to do? Fail at something else! Because life isn’t perfect and you have to fail to know that you can get over it and keep going. Thanks for sharing!
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Sonia
Hi Carol…girl I know the feeling. I let go of 3 blogs in the last 3 years, but I learned allot from it. New bloggers can get so caught up in trying to emulate someone else when all they should be is them self. They work to build something that isn’t even theirs and end up frustrated when the outcome doesn’t look the same. That was me years ago and I never looked back, but I never forgot how it felt and it keeps me on the path to just being me. Thanks girl for your comment.
Twitter: LogAllot
Carolyn
Hi Sonia, You are so right! We learn a lot more from our failures than from our successes. Everyone fails, it’s just what we do with that failure that makes all the difference.
So why is failure so feared? Because success feels so much better.
Thanks for sharing your lessons with us, Sonia!
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Sonia
Hi Carolyn, I use to be afraid of succeeding if you can believe that. I would start something and get right to the end and give up. What sense did that make, but it was something I use to do to myself all the time. I can’t remember when I stopped that crap, but I am glad I did. Looking back, I can see how I let my past mistakes shape who I was in a bad way, when I should have looked at it in a good way to change my actions next time. Thanks Carolyn for your awesome comment.
Twitter: LogAllot
Ashvini
Hi Sonia,
Being an entrepreneur now from last 3+ years, I feel that I have started enjoying failures. I cannot say that my ventures were failures but they were also not spectacularly successful. I have learned from every one of them and now I know many things I never knew about. Failures are must if we want to progress because success may make us complacent.
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Hope you are doing good
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Barbara Charles
Hi Sonia. Great article. I’ve always learned from my mistakes and have a habit of regularly looking for the good in it to find out what I’ve learned and how to use that knowledge from then on. Failure is a teaching tool if we let it be and you’ve given up great tips to help people not get bogged down by it but to get up and keep on moving, taking it as inspiration to continue on. Thanks for sharing your insight. Too many people are afraid to fail. You’ve helped them my sharing your thoughts.
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Regards,
Barbara
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Sarah Park
It takes a lot of courage to accept and rise from our mistakes. But it takes a lot of effort to use our failure in order to learn and never to commit the same again.
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JanBierens
Making mistakes in life is not a bad thing, as long as you learn from them. Everyone makes mistakes in one point in his/her life.
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It builds confidence and can take away insecurities, for instance insecurities about MAKING mistakes.
Making mistakes is a great way to find out how things should not be handled in life. Correcting your mistakes is a victory in itself.
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Sonia
I couldn’t agree more Jan. Lord knows I have made my fair share of mistakes. I am happy to see everyone’s responses to this post and what failure, if any, means to them. It is a process to rise back up when life knocks you down, but ultimately, its due to the decisions we have made. How are you doing Jan? How is married life treating you? Congrats by the way!
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Ameena Falchetto
Awesome points Sonia! I always say failure is something really relative, more often than not we assume something was an epic disaster or failure but very few, if anyone really noticed – other times, as you well pointed out in your post, failure can be the best way to learn what not to do!
It’s been a while and wow I LOVE your site!
Twitter: ameenafalchetto
Sonia
Hi Ameena, thanks for the feedback. I thought at this long and hard when I went through a few situations and came out in a good place. I have learned so much in the last 10 months than I ever have before. I learned that drive and passion wields us to keep going no matter what failures come and go. How is blondie? Give her a hug for me and hello to J.
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Cynthia
Hi Sonia,
This might sound weird but I am always grateful for my failures. I have learned so much from them. I could bore you with my list. I try to grow from each failure. I would like to say that I do but I don’t want to fib but I do grow from some. To me failures are life lessons to keep moving forward.
Twitter: richlymiddlecla
Sonia
Hey Miss Cynthia! I know the feeling girl and still have more to go through. I figure it is just a part of life and we deal with the cards that are dealt, but I like to think I won’t make the same mistakes again, but I agree it is a learning experience. Thanks for stopping by. So from your post, did she ever find a job?
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Cynthia
Good Morning Sonia,
Unfortunately she was diagnosed with breast cancer and is now dealing with the complication of the surgery. Someone from another department called her about a job but she is really ill right now. I am praying for a speedy recovery and that she will have another job offer when she is well enough to take it.
Twitter: richlymiddlecla
Manickam Vijayabanu
Hi Sonia,
Thanks for the nice post.
I would say, Everyone should enjoy the failure. But learn from that. There is nothing exist as great example like failure, were you can learn as how to become success.
Failure is not a show stopper for your success, Instead it just alerts you that it’s not the way to reach your success door. Thanks.
Susan Silver
I wouldn’t be working the job I love without my experience of failure. I would have given up my blog and probably be working retail now. I much prefer my life as a freelancer to retail heck. Just cannot do the traditional 9 to 5 and that is what I have learned.
Twitter: susan_silver